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REAL CLEAR RELIGION

Culture, Christianity, Catholic Dogma & The Death Of The West

Culture, Christianity, Catholic Dogma & The Death Of The West

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ARRANGED MARRIAGES MAKING A COMEBACK

I was never interested in the concept of arranged marriages until I had my own children. Now I already have my eye on a few potential mates for my children--that is if they do not have a religious vocation. So many unorthodox methods of finding a husband or wife have become acceptable in our modern world. Many hire a third party or even use a computer to find a suitable match. Why not just enlist the aid of one's parents?

“Today is the era of the arranged couple who fall into love around the birth of the first child," said Marian Salzman, co-author of "Next Now: Trends for the Future."

"It sounds traditional, but in some ways so much of the future is back to the past, turbo-charged,” she said.

Arranged marriages have been part of many cultures for thousands of years, primarily born out of the desire and/or need for a financial, political or property-based partnership. As America expanded multi-culturally, this custom filtered through as certain ethnic groups sought to preserve cultural and class traditions.

But, contrary to the "old" arranged marriage, in which children are forbidden from choosing their own partners, the modern arranged marriage is not about being forced into federation.

It’s about relying on the matchmaking mastery of Mom and Dad.“This is about picking a marriage partner — not about falling into bed for a world-class romance," said Salzman, whose trend forecasts are based on pattern recognition and what stylemakers are talking about.

“There is a newfound interest in letting someone else solve the love dilemma,” she explained. “We’re on option overload, and we’re maxed out in terms of time, and we’d all love a partner. So it makes sense to enlist those who know us best to forge a proper and satisfying match.”

But are parents really the best people to hook up their children? They can be, says Sloane Veshinski, a Hollywood-based marriage and family therapist.

“Your parents usually know you best of all and are aware of an adult child’s likes and dislikes, habits, peculiarities, turn-ons and turn-offs and other factors that would determine a suitable and acceptable mate,” she said.

According to Salzman, the first stage in the modern-day arranged marriage involves meeting the partner put forward by the family for a limited time in a controlled environment.

If these initial meetings go well, the next meetings are designed to elevate interest.

“In the best case there is a seamless and joyful transformation of two extended families as the romance and energy of planning a wedding heats up,” said Salzman. “The bonds between son and parents and daughter and parents are often very much strengthened through this type of involved courtship.”

Excerpted from
Fox